"Never be bullied into silence, never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself."  Harvey S. Firestone

 Bullying by Definition

~disrespectful behavior that can be physical, verbal, or emotional. It is on-going and involves an imbalance of power~

When you hear the word bullying, what thoughts come to mind? Bullying tends to be an accumulation of many small incidents over a long period of time. Cyber bullying is a new trend in bullying and is just as serious if not more so than bullying in other ways, in that, home is supposed to be a place of safety for a child. Imagine being bullied at school. You finally get home where you feel safe. You go to your computer to do homework or play games and someone starts cyber-bullying you. For the target, they are made vulnerable in what may be their only safe place. Cyber-bullying is cowardly way of hurting someone in their safe place. Each incident tends to be trivial, and on its own and out of context does not constitute an offense or ground for necessary actions. All of these "small incidences" can lead to loneliness, isolation, an extreme amount of anger and depression. It not only causes the student to feel unsafe at school but also severely interferes with learning. These emotions may even cause someone to kill, someone else or themselves.

One problem is that people tend to believe that this type of abuse is "generational" or a normal part of growing up. This makes the child think that what is happening is not important. What needs to be shown to the child is support, encouragement, listening, and action. A child is more likely to tell someone or ask for help if someone FIRST acknowledges that it is happening
to that child.

" I just want to bullying to stop. That is all I ever wanted. I used to love to go to school. Now I hate it" (9 year old V. Ward)

FACT - 30% of teenagers report being involved in bullying. Either as the bully, target or both.
FACT- 160,000 students stay home from school on any given day because of fear of bullies
FACT - One in 12 high school students report being threatened or injured with a weapon
FACT- At least 16 families will lose a child to bully-cide this year
FACT - One on four bullies will be convicted of a serious crime by the age of 30

The good news: FACT- Up to 50% or greater reductions in bullying behaviors have been reported by students who previously reported they were bullied or had bullied others when comprehnsive, school-wide anti-bullying efforts were implemented.

SELF ESTEEM AND THE VICTIM
When people experience negative comments and hurtful teasing about the way they look, racial or ethical prejudices it affects their self-esteem. It effects how they feel loved, valued, accepted and thought of by others. It effects how they act, how easily they make friends, how much control they are in, and how much they will enjoy life. Overtime, low self-esteem can turn into depression.

DEPRESSION AND THE VICTIM
Depression can destroy the very essence of a teenager's personality, causing an overwhelming sense of sadness, despair, or anger. Unlike adults, who have the ability to seek assistance on their own, teenagers usually must rely on parents, teachers, or other caregivers to recognize their suffering and get them the treatment they need.

WHERE DOES THE POWER LIE?
Everyone here has the power to stop teasing and bullying when they see it. It's called PEER POWER and it is a lot stronger than the kind of power bullies use to hurt others. Most students are neither bully nor victim, so the number of kids who are bystanders or witnesses are a much bigger group than the few kids who are doing the teasing or bullying. This larger group has a lot of power if they stick together to help others because there IS strength in numbers.

TAKE A STAND, LEND A HAND!

TO THE BYSTANDERS AND WITNESSES:
~Don't just stand there....say something!
~People who bully may think they are being funny or cool. If you feel safe, tell the person to stop bullying, that you don't like it and that it isn't funny.
~Don't bully back! It won't help if you use mean names or actions, and could make things worse.
~Say kind words to the person being bullied such as "i'm sorry about what happened to you," and "I don't like it!"
~Help them understand that it's not their fault. Be a friend. Invite them to do things with you, like sitting together at lunch or working together on a school project. Everyone needs a friend.
~Encourage the victim to talk to someone about what happened. Offer help by going along.
~Pay attention to the other students who see the bullying. Are any of them laughing, or joining in? These people are part of the problem also. Let those bystanders know that they are not helping! Don't be one of them!
~Tell an adult (THIS IS IMPORTANT) Chances are, the person who is being bullied needs help from an adult, and the student who is doing the bullying probably does too. Often the bullying does not get reported. If you need help telling, bring a friend along.
~Not telling will effect you also by giving you a loss of self-respect, confidence in yourself, and also adds additional layers of stress in your life.

Name calling and bullying are problems that everyone must help to solve. It may not be your fault that some students bully, but if you ignore it, laugh at it, or do nothing about it you may be part of the problem. Being an ally or a friend to someone who is being picked on may feel uncomfortable or scary, but there are safe ways in which we can all "TAKE a STAND and LEND a HAND" and ultimately may save someones life. Most bystanders recognise the power of the bullies words, but don't realise the power of their kind words. A smile, and ally and a friend are things you can give that may be so powerful it could even save a life!
Ask yourself, "Is it my job to help?" think about how you might feel if the bullying was happeing to you. You and other students can lend a hand, even when you aren't close friends with the person bieng bullied. Your school will be a better place if you help.


TO THE PARENTS:
~Don't tell the child to ignore-it decimates the relationship between you and your child. It makes the child feel unimportant.
~Encourage them to have another social outlet.
~Acknowledge your child's feelings about the situation. "This must be awful; it must make you feel terrible, what can we do?"
~Be careful not to over react because this can lead to schools and bullies parents to put their heels in the dirt.


TO THE KIDS THAT "GO ALONG" WITH THE BULLY:
~ Realise that you are giving into peer pressure, that you are being manipulated. Keep your eyes open to people who try to make you feel bad for not "joining in".
~Listen to YOUR inner voice. Concider the effect the group is having on you. Listen to your conscience-the voice inside of you that tells you how you really feel about something. It is almost never wrong.
~Talk to someone outside of the group who is not involved in the situation who can help you get a clearer picture of what is going on.
~Imagine that your parents can see you, how would they feel if they knew you were involved in hurting someone. Imagine their reaction and it might be enough to stop you from being a part of such a horrible act of victimization to a human being.
~Concider the risks, think it through and concider the possibel consequences. Ask yourself if it is worth the risk involved.

TO THE PERSON BIENG BULLIED:
~You are not alone!
~Remeber that it is NOT you fault. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect, violence or cruelty.
~Use humor to deflect the bully's insults. This shows him/her that you are not intimidated, and bullies thrive on intimidation and frightening their targets because it makes them feel more powerful.
~Don't aggravate the situation by fighting or insulting the bully back. You don't have to stoop to his level. Instead stay calm.
~Clearly tell the bully to stop. keep your voice low and controlled. Tell him EXACTLY what you would like him to to: "I want you to stop calling me names".
~Use "I" statements when talking to a bully. Say "I don't like when you spread rumors about me" instead of "you're a liar"
~Act confident. Walk with your shoulders back and make eye contact. Bullies tend to attack those who appear weaker than they are.
~Avoid situations that could lead to bullying. If someone bullies you on the way to school, take a different route. If someone corners you in a hallway between classes, ask a friend to walk with you.
~Don't skip activities that you enjoy. It is your right to be part of any club or team that you like and no one should be able to take that from you.
~Explore new activities to build your confidence. You can learn new skills and make new friends at the same time.
~TELL SOMEONE what is happening. This is NOT tattling or snitching it IS standing up for our right to be treated with respect!
~Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor about your feelings. Expression is better than keeping things bottled inside.
~Don't belive that school is forever. It is just a VERY small part of your life. Go one town over and find a friend, join a club, or a church youth group.

IN CONCLUSION:

People always say that if they had known.....they would have done things differently. SO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT! Stick up for yourself, tell someone, stand up for someone else who is being bullied, don't continue to be part of the problem. REMEMBER PEER POWER!